Can you keep a secret?
I never could when I was younger. It would some how spill out. Or I'd end up storing it away - if that person upset me, I'd have leverage to make them be nice to me again. I can't tell you what everyone else thought - but I don't think I was a very good friend as a kid.
In fact, the poor efforts that I put into previous relationships remind me to be a better friend to those in my life today.
I'm happy to announce that now I can keep a secret. Where I didn't understand these values before, I appreciate trust and loyalty now. I still can't tell you what everyone else thinks - but I think I'm a much better friend now.
Our woman from Proverbs 31, the perception of wisdom-in-action, would probably tell us to keep secrets. You know how I know? Verse 11 (MSG) says this,
'Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.'
Now you may be thinking, 'I'm not married. So this doesn't relate to me. This is all about being a wife.' That's what I thought. But don't be a dummy, like I was. This does absolutely relate to you.
- You may not have a husband right now - but would you like one?
- You may not have a marriage - but do you have relationships with people?
- You may not have made lifelong commitments to each other - but do you have friendships?
Ifthe answer is 'Yes' to any of these, then this Proverb definitely relates to you.
Have you ever made a friend that you can share absolutely anything with? Without feeling judged or less loved? When we chase after wisdom and we begin to value trust and intimacy - we become that person to other people.
Still on the fence about how this Proverb is talking about marriage? The reason this Proverb uses marriage is because it's designed by God to be a relationship that creates freedom - by constructing boundaries built on mutual trust and commitment.
We can use this model provided to us in the marriage of Proverbs 31 to design great relationships too, regardless of our 'relationship status'.
Have you ever made someone regret putting their trust in you?
Think back to this time. What did you achieve by breaking your boundaries of trust with that person? Has it damaged your friendship with them?
If so, maybe you need to value trust more - so that when someone gives you theirs, you won't take it lightly.